Friday, October 14, 2011

Rebirth is not always painful.


I've decided to delete previous blog entries, almost entirely. I've left the tribute to Jill because I know that it has meant something to her friends and family since her death. That entry is hers, not mine. But everything else has been surrendered to the aether.

So, let's start over. I'm being reborn. 2011 has been incredible. Exhilarating, abundant, heartbreaking, strengthening. I'm breaking old patterns and becoming more authentic and empowered. I'm completing something cosmic. It's a new year, both academically and Jewishly (belated L'Shana Tova, my friends). I've been doing spiritual and shamanic work, much of which involves reclaiming parts of my identity that I'd lost. And it's autumn, time to allow that which doesn't aid me to die and become fertilizing material for new growth. I've decided to stop living in the past or the future, which is SO much more easily said than done, but I'm ready to act and mature. I try never to regret anything, but this year has tested that value thoroughly. Two friendships were twisted and destroyed by ego and selfishness, mine as much as theirs. May forgiveness wash over us.

So, here we are. Starting over. A new year. Some new values. A refreshed blog. A refreshed Evan. On the job market. Sending the book out. Learning how to be my own greatest ally again. And, by the by, my ever-delightful friend Lane has set me up with my own website:

Enjoy, my beautiful friends.

the poems of Lewis Carroll / Charles Dodgson
God Emperor of Dune by Frank Herbert

Outside by David Bowie

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1
Brazil, directed by Terry Gilliam


Anonymous said...

"Two friendships were twisted and destroyed by ego and selfishness, mine as much as theirs."

This seems to happen to you a lot. Maybe you should actually work on that instead of just forgiving yourself and hitting reset constantly. Just an idea.

Evan said...

I'm chuckling to myself over that comment. I wouldn't say it happens "a lot," though I do have some trust issues that I'm working on. It's rather perverse and absurd that you'd consider forgiveness and starting over to be a problem.

Perhaps you should drop your shield of anonymous commentary and forgive your own self for whatever you're directing at me. It's quite wonderful, I assure you.

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